How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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