We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
then he tried to convert me to islam
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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