Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize