I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
