Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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