You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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