OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize