This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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