I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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