And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
