And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
