There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
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I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
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You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?