Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

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  (704): giving yourself 2 days to recover i see (828): I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night. http://tfl.nu/33op
  Replies (11) Good night (4531) Bad night (607)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.

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  (407): It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it. http://tfl.nu/o8fq
  Replies (27) Good night (883) Bad night (6922) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.

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  (804): Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush. http://tfl.nu/5pf3
  Replies (13) Good night (5114) Bad night (1564) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.

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  (214): you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night. http://tfl.nu/kc82
  Replies (6) Good night (3605) Bad night (1202) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever

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  (949): I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever http://tfl.nu/w0x8
  Replies (9) Good night (3280) Bad night (1260) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.

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  (484): dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER. http://tfl.nu/xj2d
  Replies (4) Good night (2710) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.

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  (215): the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead. http://tfl.nu/na4w
  Replies (6) Good night (3187) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.

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  (607): I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid. (1-607): Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late. http://tfl.nu/e8gd
  Replies (8) Good night (1738) Bad night (554)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.

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  (303): Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/mbmy
  Replies (2) Good night (1256) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?

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  (231): Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night? http://tfl.nu/zmtw
  Replies (2) Good night (899) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.

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  (314): If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life. http://tfl.nu/s141
  Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.

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  (773): He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex. http://tfl.nu/oxcx
  Replies (4) Good night (855) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.

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  (610): spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN. http://tfl.nu/4bnj
  Replies (12) Good night (911) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.

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  (617): somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic. http://tfl.nu/55u8
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.

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  (818): You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain. http://tfl.nu/pico
  Replies (0) Good night (690) Bad night (218)

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