If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize