Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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