so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
