I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
