perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
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Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
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Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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