Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
