you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
