I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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