Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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