This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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