My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
