I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
