Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize