and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
