I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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