I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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