i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
