I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
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hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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