Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
