thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
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You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
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Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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