The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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