i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
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let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
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Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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