she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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