When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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