I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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