wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So much Jack, so little girl.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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