Non-Jews are for practice
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
