i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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