I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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