You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
