Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
