I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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