dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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