I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
