my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
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you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
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I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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