This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
