My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's official drugs can't kill me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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