Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
