OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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