Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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