After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
