Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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