I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
