Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
