You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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