He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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