I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
